Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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