dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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