I bet he comes in French.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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