i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
