yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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