Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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