I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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