the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
