The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
