What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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