Walk of Shame. In a state park.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
