He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
