how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
