exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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