I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
