We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
