Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
