Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
