So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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