very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
