So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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