Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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