so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
