Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
