I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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