My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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