She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
