My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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