he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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