YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
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