Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
