planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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