I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
