I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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