she was so not down for the gang bang
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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