Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
