i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
