I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
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Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize