No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
