I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Im part way to drunk.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
