hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
