A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You ruined the universe
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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