i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
