oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
