Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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