It's like God shit irony all over that family
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Randomize
