there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
