marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
