thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize