I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
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She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
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I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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