billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
