4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
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