This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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