Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
