just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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