if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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