new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
