Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
