she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
