i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
