we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
