he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
