im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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