just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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