why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
