Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
