Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
