I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
this hospital has no fireball
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
