don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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