We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize